My husband and I couldn’t be more different. He’s a go with the flow kind of guy. I am a make a plan gal. He’s artsy. I’m spreadsheets. He likes to fill his calendar with social engagements. I like quite a bit of solo time. He values encouraging words and nice cards. I’m a show me, don’t tell me lady.
For the first few years we were together, Alan and I were both missing the mark in showing each other love. He’d write me a long, thoughtful note on a card. I’d read it and toss it. It made very little impression on me. I’d do something nice for him, like get his oil changed or take the trash out, which is one of his household chores. Usually not even a thank you. For years this pattern continued…until one big “AHA” moment. We weren’t speaking each other’s love languages! I was speaking to him in one of my top love languages, acts of service, but his top love language is words of affirmation. This realization made all the difference in our marriage. I began writing short notes to Alan each day. Alan began intentionally cleaning the house when I travelled so I came home to a clean home. Now he starts the laundry. And those actions fill my cup.
But when it comes to birthday gifts, Mother’s Day gifts, or holiday gifts, what do you get for the Acts of Service speaker? Well, as a native of this language, today I’m sharing a few ideas!
Acts of Service: For the person who appreciates actions more than words
Acts of service speakers tend to be busybodies. With this gift we recommend offering an act of service like doing the laundry or cooking dinner while your partner enjoys some much-needed downtime. This wellness gift box features a lotion, candle, and bath bombs with a calming lavender scent, along with our soft Pestemal towel. Finish it off with a cup of chamomile tea.
2. Get a gift card to a service-related business
Book a car detailing or house cleaning service and scheduling it for before you have guests coming over will replace your partner or friend’s stress with a sigh of relief. This gift takes something off their plate, which allows them more time to focus on self-care.
One of the best gifts Alan gives me is time for work. We are both entrepreneurs with big dreams. One of the benefits is that our schedules are very flexible. However, when school is out, a child is sick, or other personal things conflict with traditional work hours, it can be hard to get your work done. On those weeks, Alan will hang with Shelly while I get a few hours in at a coffee shop. The beINTENTIONAL gift box is a great physical representation of this gift with its artisan coffee mug, coffee, hardbacked journal, and handcrafted pen. If you have a partner, friend, or even a co-worker whose schedule is packed – the gift of managing their little humans while they enjoy a time of dreaming, reflecting, or working will be a huge hit!
4. A meal prep service
My mom got me a subscription to Hello Fresh a couple of years ago, and meal planning became as simple as ordering takeout. I was in a crunched season, and it was so helpful to have all of the ingredients for dinner show up to my door. This one can be tricky if you don’t know the person well enough to know their preferred diet. This is often the case with client gifts. So, you may have to ask them what kinds of foods they like to allow you to pick the best meal service.
5. Bring them their favorite coffee
This one speaks to both receiving gifts and acts of service speakers. Having your morning start off with someone pouring you or picking up your favorite cup of coffee is such a delightful way to start the day. This one is also great for corporate gifts. If you’re in the same physical space, pick them up a coffee from a local coffee shop on your way to the office. If not, a gift card or a high end, programmable coffee maker also works here!
You can probably see a theme in these gift ideas, right? Gifts for the Acts of Service love language are all about taking something off the other person’s plate. Focus on an area in their home or work life that could be simpler. Listen for things that take a lot of time or energy and try to find a solution for those things.
Let’s keep brainstorming! What act of service have you done for your partner, friend, or co-worker lately?
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