Your doorbell rings. You open it. There’s a package…from who? Your heart sinks. From one of your co-workers that you did not buy a gift for. It’s not that you didn’t want to. You just kind of… well…forgot. Even worse – it’s one of the amazing empowering gifts you’ve talked about with her. It’s the perfect gift for you, but you didn’t get her anything! Now what? Do you buy her a gift and mail it immediately? Do you just send a thank you card? Do you let the gift go unacknowledged to not draw attention to the fact that you didn’t get her a gift? Eeeeeek!!! While you can’t undo the past, there are some things you can do to help save face in this situation.
1. Gratitude is always the way to go.
First things first, write a thank you card. Always write a thank you card. The person who bought you the gift took the consideration, time, and finances to purchase you a gift and mail it to you. So, by all means, say thank you! Whether it’s the perfect gift for you or a more traditional corporate gift, showing gratitude is always a good look.
2. Understand the intention of the gift.
Most people give gifts to show love to you, not necessarily to receive a gift in return. So, be a gracious receiver. Absorb the love they are sending your way. Accept the thoughtfulness and time that went into the gift. Let this love permeate your soul. That’s most often what the other person wants – to show you that you are loved. So, if you are focused on your own guilt or shame, you are not receiving what the other person intended.
3. It’s ok to stick with your original gift list.
This might not be popular with some of our readers but hear us out. As you may get by now, we aren’t big on shame or guilt. If you have a short gift list of only close family – that’s ok. Or maybe it’s a tight financial year and you’re going to bake cookies for your gift list this year. That’s a great idea! The point is – just because someone else got you a gift does not mean you have to send one in return. Make a note for future that one of their love languages is receiving gifts. Make a plan to show them love in that way if and when you can. But don’t let guilt or shame be the reason you get the other person a gift in return.
4. Whatever you do, don’t lie.
If you’re asked point blank about a gift, or maybe the gift was given to you in person, don’t try to cover up that you did not get them a gift with a lie. If you’re just running behind on your gifting, feel free to say so. But don’t give into the temptation to create a story that isn’t true. You saw what happened to Pinocchio. If their gift wasn’t on back-order, don’t say it was. If it’s not in the mail, it’s not in the mail. It’s not that we are trying to make the other person feel bad that they weren’t on your gift list, but trust is something that is very difficult to rebuild.
If this ever happens to you, remember that you can’t change the past. But you can show gratitude and receive love. Focus your energy on these instead of letting your mind take you to the place of guilt and shame. And if it truly was a mistake that you overlooked them, be sure to be ready with a very thoughtful gift at the next occasion!
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