I make my husband’s life so hard. Not in all ways – but in gift buying specifically, I make things incredibly difficult for him. Admitting is the first step, right? I don’t want him to get anything off my list (and often I don’t even make one). I don’t want any gift that gives me something to do because I already can’t get in everything I have on my plate. Why do I make it so difficult for him? Because one of my top 2 love languages is receiving gifts.

At first glance, you’re probably thinking, “of course, everyone likes to receive gifts.” While that might be true, according to Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages, liking to receive gifts and speaking this as your primary love language can be 2 totally different things.

The Key to Gift Buying for Those Who Speak “Receiving Gifts” So, let’s identify how to tell if the person you’re gifting to speaks receiving gifts as their primary love language.

  • Do they feel the need to get you a gift for every occasion?
  • Do they often go over the top on gifting with something that involves extensive planning or coordination?
  • Are they always looking for the perfect gift, not just a good one?
  • Do they talk about gifts others got them with enthusiasm weeks, months, or even years later?
  • Do they value memorable physical things more than most?

If these describe your gift receiver, they likely speak receiving gifts. And what you gift this person truly matters. So, how can you find the right gift for them?

The Key to Gift Buying for Those Who Speak “Receiving Gifts” The key to gifting to this person is to avoid what I call transactional gifts. If I put something on a wish list, with a link to the website where you can purchase, and you buy it and ship it to me, that’s a transaction. There was no thought put into that gift. That’s not to say there’s no sacrifice, specifically financial, but the thought is missing.

There are some exceptions here. As an example, my sister recently bought a horse. While I wanted to celebrate this lifetime achievement with her by purchasing some of the gear she needed, I don’t know the first thing about horse care. So, she made a list and I purchased from the list. I think the spirit of “we are welcoming your horse to the family” was still there, even though I bought from the list. But, for the most part, if they tell you what to buy, the thought put into the gift is minimal.

Instead, dig deep and think about what you know about that person and find something you think they could really use. Big note here: It doesn’t have to come with a high price tag. It truly is the thought that counts.

The Key to Gift Buying for Those Who Speak “Receiving Gifts” To help kickstart your brainstorming, let me give you some examples of great gifts I’ve received:

1. Birthday gift: On my 30th birthday, my husband coordinated with pretty much all of my friends and family to go in on one big gift – an Apple MacBook Air. I’d wanted to switch to the “other side” for a while, but hadn’t been able to come up with what, at that time, seemed like an astronomical amount. But all of my friends and family went in on it and then we had a huge birthday dinner where they unveiled the gift. It was touching to see a list of 20+ names on the card.

2. Holiday gift: Most of you probably know I’m a foster mom. Because of that, I don’t have any photos of all my family together. Some of the kids have never met because they didn’t live with us at the same time. One year my mom got a collection of photos, sent them to an artist, and the artist drew a beautiful family portrait with me, my husband, and all our kids, biological and foster. I love it so much.

3. Grieving gift: my sister (the horse owner mentioned above) brought me my favorite Starbucks drink the day after one of my closest friends and business partner suddenly passed away. She knew I likely wasn’t sleeping well and was trying to sort through travel arrangements and the chaos at work. It cost her $5, and almost a decade later, I still think about that thoughtful gift.

You can see that what’s behind these gifts is incredible thoughtfulness. It’s not about the money, or even the creativity, but the intersection that gift has in the season of life you’re in. It’s the fact that your friend or loved one spent time thinking about the best way to show love to you. And when you find just the right gift, know that the person who speaks receiving gifts will cherish it for a lifetime.

What is one of the most meaningful gifts you’ve received?

Personal and Corporate Gifts